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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24283387">smile one last time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysophobe/pseuds/mysophobe'>mysophobe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, I couldn't resist, I'm Sorry, M/M, Post-Canon, Sad Ending, national team</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:36:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24283387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysophobe/pseuds/mysophobe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>bokuto koutarou was supposed to be happy. </p>
<p>it just so happened that he was the only one outside when the skies, one day, decided to open up and shower the world with melancholy.</p>
<p>he had caught it all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>smile one last time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>pristine white and empty, save for the little droplets of water that dripped from duo-chromatic locks on ceramic; koutarou concluded that his bathroom sink was pretty boring. well, not that he could complain, really. his life, in general, had begun to take a duller tone. what used to be vibrant gold and metallic blue meeting from one end of the court to another, a pair that was supposedly inseparable has been reduced to a dull gold and ash. the familiar forest greens and blood reds stitched together by strips of white that made a resounding thwack when hit with his calloused palms were now reduced to different shades of the same gray. empty. hollow.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>perhaps his life just reflects the contents of his heart. that would be logical, wouldn’t it?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>his heart, once full of life and beating with vigor and a sense of selfish purpose, now nothing but a mere muscle that pumps to try and keep him alive. no longer was he youthful, though, at the age of twenty-five, one would assume that his life would be at its peak. however, his eyes remain as lifeless as that of a wax figure, the dark circles beneath it emphasizing the lack of care he had been giving himself. his fingers would occasionally display a tremor that seemed impossible to remove, only able to hide it by drawing more crescents on the balls of his palms. </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>bokuto koutarou was supposed to be happy. </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>it just so happened that he was the only one outside when the skies, one day, decided to open up and shower the world with melancholy.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>he had caught it all.</strong>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>akaashi keiji had always had the most beautiful smile. or at least, that's what the muscle-headed lad thought as he watched his lover laugh along with their teammates deeper inside the bus. bokuto’s eyes were drawn to the familiar tilt of the younger male’s lips, his smile timid but obviously displaying the enthusiasm that he harbored over their libero’s many jokes. koutarou himself was seated on one of the front rows of the vehicle. being vice-captain, he had the responsibility to watch over their team, alongside their province-raised captain. the rowdy nature of twenty youthful city guys was, after all, a little bit too much for the poor male to handle all by himself. </p>
<p>making it to the national team was an experience that would surely go beyond all his lifetimes. everything had been surreal for the past years that his contract with the team remained. at some point, koutarou would think that he was still dreaming. he would pinch himself on the arm, taking a very thin patch of his own skin in between neatly trimmed nails and pressing as hard as he could. he would jump five feet in the air and exclaim in a voice too loud for earth, and he would know that this was reality.</p>
<p>he really was playing for his country; playing the sport he loved, in the countries he had grown to love, with the person he loves. </p>
<p>in a dreamy life like this, what could possibly go wrong? </p>
<hr/>
<p>a crash. an impact. getting thrown off his seat. screams. a hand in his.</p>
<p>"kou?" </p>
<p>bokuto's eyes flew open at a speed that made his head throb, the pain unbearable. he winced, his facial muscles scrunching up at the pounding persistently knocking into his skull from the inside. however, that didn't deter him. he forced his eyes to adjust to his surroundings, taking in as much of everything as he could. golden orbs flashed side to side, his eyes trying and failing to process everything at once. the area was dark, smoky, and a blur. he couldn't remember what had happened prior to his waking. the last thing he remembered was staring at the love of his life. what had happened after that? </p>
<p>blood. smoke. fire. coughs. groans. hands on his face. </p>
<p>"koutarou, baby?" </p>
<p>his attention zeroed in on the face just a couple of inches before his. </p>
<p>there was a smile. beautiful.</p>
<p>"do you hear me, kou?" </p>
<p>"keiji," he rasped out, lifting a hand to put it over the other male's, slipping his thicker digits in between slender ones. "keiji, what happened?" a series of coughs wracked his entire body, causing him to curl into himself as his system tried to expel more of the smoke invading his lungs, burning a path down his trachea with every gasp and every inhale he took. </p>
<p>the other male leaned forward to rest his forehead against koutarou's, the action causing his lover to close his eyes. "there was a crash. i'm sure they'll get us out of here soon. can you move?"</p>
<p>only then did he attempt to get a feel of his own body. he tried to move his limbs, attempting to wriggle out of his predicament as he felt a little bit of weight against his foot. jolts of pain responded to him, causing him to hiss. "i can't feel my other hand, but other than that, i think it's just a few bruises here and there. are you alright, keiji?"</p>
<p>albeit still hazy, the vice-captain was finally regaining some of his awareness. he vaguely registered the chaos that was ensuing around them. his mind finally catching up to the reality that something was very, very wrong and that they had to get out. they had to get out fast. </p>
<p>"don't worry about me. there's an emergency window right at your feet, kou, can you do me a favor and kick that open?" </p>
<p>if it weren't for the circumstances that they were in, koutarou would surely pause for a moment and just appreciate akaashi. the ravenette was so calm-headed, his voice level and steady as he directed his companion's actions. moreover, it seemed to bokuto that akaashi had already assessed the situation and figured out the best possible way out of the pinch they were in. as expected of one of the national team's setters. he was quick on his feet, and bokuto was his spiker. he wasn't about to let him down now.</p>
<p>giving his lover a chaste kiss, <strike>completely unaware of the fact that it was going to be their last</strike> he wiggled lower and attempted to kick the emergency window. from what he had seen, koutarou assumed that the bus they were in was thrown to its side and the two of them were dragged towards the back of the vehicle, where an emergency door was strategically located. he could hear some of their other teammates groaning awake now. however, self-preservation was strong in his gut. he had to get akaashi out of here before the situation becomes any worse. </p>
<p>not too long after, he successfully kicked the door open and was greeted by the clouds. if it weren’t for the gray smoke rising towards the sky, he would have thought it was a good day. he crawled out of the door, just as he heard keiji order the rest of their mobile teammates to head out as well. a majority of the players managed to crawl out, all of them sporting injuries that were way too serious to call minor. his own arm had been compromised, upon closer inspection. if it weren't for the adrenaline coursing through his veins, he's sure the pain would have him screaming. </p>
<p>when it seemed like no one was about to come out anymore, koutarou reached a hand out for keiji to take, aiming to help him out of the smoking bus, but what he got in return was nothing but a smile. </p>
<p>"i can't."</p>
<p>that smile, so beautiful and vibrant yet filled with such deep sadness it had koutarou's heart thudding faster in foreboding fear. </p>
<p>"what do you mean you can't? keiji?" </p>
<p>he was just about to take a step back inside when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back. "we'll take care of it," said a man in a red suit. firemen. </p>
<p>when a lone fireman crawled inside the bus and stopped beside where keiji was, bokuto finally figured it out.</p>
<p>having been clouded off by the smoke earlier, his eyes couldn't see it very clearly. but now he could.</p>
<p>keiji's lower body was trapped under a section of seats that were smashed towards the windows. the bus was on its side, so that meant keiji's legs were pinned down. a single pull of a chair done by the fireman had his face contorting in pain, an anguished scream tearing out of his lips. </p>
<p>the sight was going to haunt bokuto forever. </p>
<p>he launched himself forward, eager to help his lover get free when one more fireman wrapped his arms around koutarou's waist and pulled, keeping him back. </p>
<p>just as he was pulled back, there was a call.</p>
<p>"get back! there was gas spilled from the bus! the possibility of an explosion is very great! get back!"</p>
<p>koutarou's ears rung so loud he was afraid it would bleed. but that was the least of his worries right that moment. </p>
<p>suddenly, keiji was all that he could see, all that he could hear. the love of his life was screaming in pain, and koutarou was desperate. he has to get him free. even if he had to sacrifice his own life to save akaashi, he would do so without hesitation. he would race into a fire if it meant he could keep keiji unscathed. he would jump in front of a fired bullet if it meant he could carry the weight of the explosion, and he would do so with no lingering regret. </p>
<p>"keiji!" he surged forward yet again, attempting to throw the firemen off of him, to no avail. "get the fuck off of me, i have to save keiji!" </p>
<p>without forewarning, the other end of the bus caught on fire. rapidly, it traveled the distance from one end to the other, the spill enough for the flames to ravage the vehicle with its destructive tongues.</p>
<p>keiji's anguished face contorted back into that smile. although, this time it was strained, the tile of his lips twitching in pain.</p>
<p>that beautiful smile told koutarou that he didn’t want to go. he didn’t want to leave his lover alive in a world where he didn’t exist. </p>
<p>'i love you'</p>
<p>quickly, flames engulfed the sight of his favorite person. then, an explosion.</p>
<p>koutarou dropped towards the ground, eyes burning with tears and dirt, screaming loud, raw, and full of sorrow. </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>with a resigned sigh, koutarou began to wrap his arm in its usual bandage. the sink in front of him was getting boring to look at. </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>the crash had taken a lot from japanese volleyball. the team was in shambles following the accident. the entire country was devastated, and so was the rest of the world. </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>a sleep-deprived truck driver was all it took to throw japan out of the league. a sleep-deprived truck driver had robbed koutarou his very life.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>the silver-haired man scoffed and let out a soulless chuckle.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>he would pinch himself on the arm, taking a very thin patch of his own skin in between neatly trimmed nails and pressing as hard as he could.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>can he stop dreaming now?</em>
</p>
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